What's Happening!?

Chelsea is in the hospital! She started throwing up last night, and it was worse than what I'd seen from the first trimester. So I looked online to see why this may be happening 2 months before baby is born. Never do that! The results were anything from pre eclampsia to some kidney problem that could mean the death of my wife and/or child! SCARY! Of course, it never mentions that it could simply be the food she ate, but let's just hope that's what it is for the sake of positivity. So I told her that it may be pre eclampsia and she should call the nurses hotline. No need for her to know more than that. So the hotline says to go to the hospital. Duh! I could have told you that after looking at the internet! So here we are. To start with, they attached her to some machines to check Lil Joe's heart rate and to see if she's having contractions. Considering this is only week 33, let's hope it's not contractions! She is having tightening in her stomach at regular intervals. However, they are not strong enough to be contractions. Second, some invasive swabbing ensues after some pretty personal questions. Do they really need to know when we last had sex? Needless to say, the swabbing has to be done again later because of the timing of our latest interaction. Tee hee hee! OOPS! I begin to wonder if that is why this is happening right now. So for the next few hours Chelsea sleeps, or at least tries to, and I shift uncomfortably on the chair that is designed to make the husband feel some, if not all, of the pain that a woman goes through with bearing a bundle of joy. Baby seems to be doing fine. Mom is sleeping peacefully. The parking meter is happily accepting the abundance of coins I am depositing in it. But still, no answers. I will wait patiently in the death chair for answers. Until then, I leave you with this. The good, the bad, and the ugly... Of internet diagnosis on an expectant fathers mind.